This month’s Vixen Sexpert of the Month is as ferocious and fearless as she is educated. Raquel Savage is a board certified sex therapist and host of The Savage Life where she discusses a range of topics from sexuality to women’s issues. If you follow her on Twitter, you know she is a fire and we got the chance to sit down and get to know her.
- So let’s get the introductions out the way, what’s your name and give us a brief description of what you do.
I’m Raquel Savage and I’m a board certified Sex Therapist. I do 1-on-1 and couple’s coaching, workshops (about female orgasm, ethical non-monogamy, fetishes, etc.), #SavageSundays (on Instagram Live) and I currently have a podcast, The Savage Life, on 2K Life Network’s soundcloud page.
- What made you interested in studying sexuality?
My grandmother was an ASSECT certified human sexuality educator who taught women about orgasms and masturbation in the 50’s so I was raised in a very sex-positive family. I’ve been talking to people about sex and sexuality since I was in elementary school. I think I’ve always been curious so I either initiated these conversations or people picked up on my curiosity and initiated the conversations with me. This interest grew as I got older and started experimenting with my own sexuality. I eventually went on to start a queer organization at my private, history catholic, all-girls college (scandalous!). From there I realized this could be a career and I began my education – haven’t looked back since!
- How did you get started in your profession?
I’m currently getting my master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy and I have my board certification in Human Sexuality. When I started the board certification I started branding myself and as soon as I announced that I was a “sex therapist” I got immediate feedback and interest.
- How did your close friends and family react to your profession?
If you know me personally you know this profession aligns with my life and personality. It’s not a surprise at all and everyone is extremely supportive.
- What were your fears going into sex industry or dabbling in the area?
I’m not sure that I have any fears but I acknowledge that there will always be a group of people who don’t take me seriously because I am a woman who talks about sex. Sexism and misogyny function like that and it’s something I accept. I know some folks will never hear me and that’s unfortunate but I won’t waste my energy on people who aren’t receptive to me or my knowledge.
- Who is a feminist icon you look up to and why?
Marilyn Monroe has had a large impact on me in terms of how I view and accept the complexities of myself. She was a sex symbol but she was also incredibly sad and multilayered. That resonates with me. In regards to women who identify as feminists I find inspiration from the women I follow on twitter. They have played a huge role in exploring and growing my consciousness. People like Feminista Jones, Yeoshin Lourdes, Raquel Willis, Jamilah Lemieuz and Obaa Boni are all incredibly brilliant women who have continued to challenge my thinking.
- What can women expect from attending one of your workshops?
Women choose the subjects they want to learn about but I believe they always leave feeling relieved and empowered. They typically find relief in some of the information I provide because it normalizes their lives. Many women feel empowered because they leave with more knowledge about their bodies or sexual desires and feel less ashamed to explore them. Additionally, we always have fun and exchange sex stories for shits and giggles.
- Why is it important to understand one’s sexuality and its development and how do you use that knowledge to help your readership?
I don’t think it’s important for one to understand their sexuality because that, to me, implies that it is to be understood. It’s important that people understand that sexuality is a natural part of their life just like anything else, that it may wax and wane, and that it’s ok to explore and be proud of who you are! I use this often as a way to inspire women (and anyone else) to become empowered.
- Name one piece of advice you would give young women in owning their sexual side.
Masturbate. Communicate. Charge. Masturbation is so important in terms of self-care and understanding your own body. It is difficult to communicate what you like if you don’t know yourself. Masturbation not only feels good it also helps one gain insight on what stimulates them and what doesn’t. Communication is a huge part of what I discuss with people because it is lacking for many of us and that ultimately affects our sex lives. The better you are at communicating in your (general) life the more effective you’ll communicate about sex. And when you can communicate effectively about sex you’ll feel more comfortable asking for what you want and, eventually, getting it! Lastly, #giveyourmoneytowomen! I don’t care how you implement this in your life, if you are a minority, (especially a woman or femme) charge people for your time! So many of us waste time on our partners, particularly male partners, doing emotional, intellectual and physical labor. Stop. As they say, know your worth then add tax.
- What was your proudest moment in your career so far?
Any time a woman tells me I inspire her or have changed her life I feel validated and it reminds me why I’m doing this. Every single one of those moments makes me proud.
- Who are people you look up to in your field?
Shan Boody is my career-goals, girl-crush. She is breaking all the barriers and I cannot wait to fill-up all the sex-positive space with her!
- Any exciting projects on the horizon?
I’m working on a few things including a column, a visual sex ed project and a college tour. Look out!
- What motivates you to progress forward in your career?
I’m really motivated by women. Women are my priority. Creating a safe-space for women to be carefree is truly what keeps me motivated. I especially feel determined to keep pushing when I speak to survivors of sexual assault. We deserve better and I plan on doing any and everything I can to make “better” happen.
- What’s one myth about sex that you never want to hear again?
That a penis can loosen a vagina. FOH.
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
Famous. I will be the go-to sex ed, provocateur with a tv show, multiple best-selling books and global sex ed workshops. I’ll have a team of like-minded women working with me to spread sex-positivity to every corner of the world. The opportunities are endless; anywhere I can talk about sex, sexuality and reproductive health, I’ll be there passing out dental dams and lube.
- What’s one piece of advice you can leave our readers with when it comes to sex?
LESS PENETRATION, MORE CLIT STIMULATION.
Written By The Vixen. CEO of My Little Vixen LLC,. Curator of kink and pleasure.
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